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Showing posts from September, 2021

Next me

By Asa Montreaux  They pretty much line them up like thank you, next?  That’s not fair and it hadn’t been the time I don’t discover them for you, And they prefer not to work for you 10g 6 0 Reverse me People wonder where my friends went Yea they died,  Hello playa, you dead Welcome to the world They kill ya next You feel nada Don Quixote never been Granada See you manana So I feel? They say they hunt you here. Men? Yees. Anyways I had probably even been with your mamma?  Yes this is Tom Holland. See the not fire me sign. I wan twenty million dolla! I Asian! Give me five if you will give me ten Give that guy a hacksaw ridge Not a 250,000 grand? Okay. So that’s not me. promise

Catcher in the Rye 2 1.5

By Asa Montreaux  Being the same as everyone else, is not my style, though that what I was describing. That’s what I always wanted not to do. But If it could get me out of here, and on to the next thing, then it’d be heaka worth it, I think. Everyone who would care to know would to tell you I am no phony. Hope there’s lots of phonies reading this. That’s cool. * My appointment with the doctor came around. It was only the next day. I walked in and sat right down on the seat, and I hope he didn’t misinterpret my eagerness to be over with it, as eagerness for psychotherapy. I a lot didn’t want to be psychoanalyzed. ‘Hello, Holden,’ he said to me.  ‘Hi, Doc. What’s the latest.’ ‘I want to see how you’re doing. See how we’re moving along.’ ‘Very well, sir.’ I tried to answer right normal. ‘Thing are going awesome. I feel really well, sir.’ ‘Okay, that’s good,’ he said. ‘And tell me why,’ he added. ‘Well, you see doc,’ I started out. ‘I’ve been trying out that thing you suggested, a...

and they made me feel terrible

By Asa Montreaux  I don’t want anything for the people of this country, I want something better for the country at the same time, I do want something better for the people that are with me, and for all The people of tomorrow. Year after year, they slung insults at my hologram, and I took it all personally, I do realize what I often realized now, and I take it as an explanation. They believed I was not here in the city, or even the country. Come visit. It was the upmost control they could possibly think of, and the sad truth is they all went mad, all these screaming women, And it was too hard to admit until now. And they all had reached me, and they made me feel terrible. And they had interrupted my life. Unfortunately it was not their hologram, most unfortunately I don’t mean to switch, I meant to tell you you're corrupt. You’re not Andrew, and I am. You’re not Morag, and I meant to trick everyone into thinking the student not there, Was a woman. Because they switch twenty percent ...

Poem Sep 19 2021

 By Asa Montreaux  With it you can buy your house  You can buy your lake house Where you have your memories with your family Your kids, You parents, before they die Your portion of heaven, away your place close to work which  You can’t be, if you can’t afford it Your atmostphere influences your mood, your thoughts,  And if its modern and structured, It will promote better ideas And if its old and tacky It will promote generalities and dead art And with it you can open your doors to people, Without you have no space, Without you have no grub to spare, Without you face the harshest, the most basic fight of all, That we all face, or avoid, the struggle for survival. With it you have a college education, and your kids have college educations,  Shiny Ivy degrees for three hundred grand Money spent well, is money spent ethically. A 300,000 grand apartment in Greenwich and a drug habit would have been A mistake, But the enrichment of all Western thought, or of mod...

Poem sept 17 2021

By Asa Montreaux  What I didn’t want is to feel I can achieve nothing, I wanted the dream to end. All my life, especially the last decade,  People following me, teasing me, hitting on me So hard, threatening me, ruining my days, Not a lost decade, But for invisible Andrew, sometimes it felt  A lot was lost. Recovery was always possible, it had happened before, That he’d achieved the unthinkable, That’s how good a lucid dreamer,  I am. I want to be past hiding.  I want to be past feeling helpless, Because there’s lots I can do, Now that I’m here. Is this where the problem is. What if the problem is a where, and not a who? A place that harasses foreigners,  That eats people? So far away, so small, you not hear a thing, And nothing would escape the town. And yet within it, they talk and talk? How do we get along, Vancouver, Or when do you let me escape? Because it’s been nine months. 9-18-2021 That’s tomorrow. And it’s not an insignificant number. I want to hi...

Journal entry 3.3

By Asa Montreaux  After things cooled down a bit, I was able to go live with my mother in New York. I could come out of hiding. They just said on the reports on TV that it was a big weight off my shoulders, and that I can get back to my career. Jamie was no longer following every day. So I had a kind of freedom, a partial freedom restored. My mom wasn’t in danger because of him anymore. It seemed he’d leave me mostly alone, and her alone entirely. This was after I had found enough evidence to show he was a stalker, and a vicious one. When they announced this all on tv, no one knew he tried to kill me every day, and like with guns, or sharp objects, trying to grab me, and trying to stab me, bullet holes being filled after they were shot just past me, every time he just missed me. SO that mostly behind me, was a great thing.  Being a kid, I had missed my mom, but I hadn’t cried about it. I didn’t need to be with her every second, but I feel often as I felt at the time, people di...

A journal entry 3.2

By Asa Montreaux  I was enabled to continue living my life in the present. Being graduated from grade school at such an early age, and even high school, made for a lot of free time. It seemed I was too young for university, but if there was nothing else holding me back, then I might as well just study. If it was as a satellite student, then everything would go fine. I could attend courses, but I’d largely be excused, and there wouldn’t be much opportunity for conflict with older, and much larger peers.  As I already mentioned, I began taking courses at MIT, and they were in physics. It went so well, after a semester and a half, it didn’t seem there was a professor more knowledgeable than me. Unfortunately it was below my level, and also I was so young, so they preferred I stopped taking courses, though they were more than happy to award me a degree. This is where these people were really getting in the way, and I learned more about this as I travelled back to the past as ai. T...

Fame (june 2021)

By Asa Montreaux  There is no one in the world that is more talked about than One person. Than me.  And go figure. Fame is crazy. They, some people Out there obsess over us They talk about us when we’re around I’m around. And the most famous person in the media Is me. It’s what they’re writing about It’s what you talk about, whether you realize it or not So consider it All of me that is famous Underground, through all the circuits, through all The electronic wires, Asa Montreaux.

To be close and far at different times. (june 2021)

By Asa Montreaux  To be so worked up to do everything you need To change your life.  Then you back down and fold, rather do something to stay perfectly comfortable. Before it seemed necessary to escape your pain and then the way you seemed so full with pain you’d rather stay where you are physically and spiritually. Not moving forward in your life at all. That’s depression. And waking up the next day and suffering from the same thoughts. That’s I suppose a depressive disorder. An illness more than, longer than a Single episode. To be so close and so far at different times. So near to one another, it seemed like they happened a thousand times At once. That’s the way I would feel, every day. Until the pain is so great that You had to force yourself to do all the things you don’t want to like Ask for help. Asking for help is one of the steps that is necessary To get out of it. All the steps together to restart your life. Because depression is only the worst kind Of Grief. You mis...

A journal entry 3.1

By Asa Montreaux  In the year 2007, I had an experience that I am still trying to get a handle of. While I came to terms with it emotionally a long while ago, the ramifications in the world around, and in the world beyond the local, are something I am still trying to completely correct.  It seems there is corruption in the world, and I accept that now. I was aware of it in 2007, but I am cognizant of it now in 2021 as something that exists on its own. There is corruption in the world, that is a fact. And I have found it to be a fact that there is a lot of corruption in the world. What that meant to me is I was being defrauded, and my life was being endangered. I suppose I would say my rights were not being respected, as well. Though my life being endangered was certainly the most serious, and also the most immediate thing on my mind. So today I would argue strongly that there are con artists out there always, who are ready to make money or intellectual property or whatever els...

Adore you

By Asa Montreaux  Oh honey Just let me be there for you just let me adore you It’s the only thing I’ll ever do Walk in your rainbow paradise Hallucinations mad will wrap you back into  This life with us. Wake up to enjoy Everyday’s quiet need. I get so lost inside your eyes. Refeeling getting lost with me is all anyone ever wanted Trust me Would you believe it? You don’t have to say you love me. I just need to tell you something. Lately you’ve been on my mind. Oh honey.  Let the past stay with you. Hang on and watch it with the future Watch the present while you live it Watching is fun Just let me adore you. It’s the only thing I’ll ever do.