To be close and far at different times. (june 2021)

By Asa Montreaux 

To be so worked up to do everything you need

To change your life. 

Then you back down and fold, rather do something to stay perfectly comfortable.

Before it seemed necessary to escape your pain and then the way you seemed so full with

pain you’d rather stay where you are physically and spiritually.

Not moving forward in your life at all.

That’s depression.

And waking up the next day and suffering from the same thoughts.

That’s I suppose a depressive disorder. An illness more than, longer than a

Single episode.

To be so close and so far at different times.

So near to one another, it seemed like they happened a thousand times

At once.

That’s the way I would feel, every day. Until the pain is so great that

You had to force yourself to do all the things you don’t want to like

Ask for help.

Asking for help is one of the steps that is necessary

To get out of it.

All the steps together to restart your life. Because depression is only the worst kind

Of Grief.

You miss what you had lost.