j 2.4

By Asa Montreaux 

I guess there’s one thing important, and if anybody remembered something from my childhood I 'd probably want it be this. My Dad was the sweetest man anyone ever saw. He never got angry once my entire childhood. I suppose I tell you now, one day it was time for me to go back to the future. But I always popped in after the gang they killed me. They sank two planes to kill me. But it wasn’t seriously even in that time. I was probably just ai. And they not even knew. Most people think they hallucinated me. But I was there. Reality is only what we see.

And I was always just as sweet. And he was content doing anything. He would read for hours, he said he always needed to read something he hadn’t wrote. He read the new so obsessively, because he said he could hardly fiction he’d read when he went back to the past. And that was a joke. So just because he had the time, he became this man that was knowledgeable about the world as it was. At the time he was growing up, I guess. And he didn’t like to watch the news, so much, because every time, someone would talk to him on the tv. He didn’t want to talk back, and he didn’t want anyone to think he wasn’t a kid at that time. He was a telepath. 

So who was my Dad? He was my grandfather. He was a small Asian man. He was 5 10. And my grandfather was 5 5. My Dad was around often, and they thought him and me were gay. We were not. And one year this gang had almost kindnapped me. There were two men sitting around in a house in Texas, where they had taken me. Turned out we paid for the house. And not all of it, or else they kill everyone. And the people outside turned out to be just the gang again. They gone houses all through the city, and killed hundred of people, and then just moved in, lie they wouldn’t caught, and get the death penalty. They clearly couldn’t even read. But everyone would say, how are those two gay dudes, and they say maybe we would listen to what this gang has to say, we’d want a house. And they said, we are just friends. And my Dad said, and my Dad actually, yea we just decided to live here so they’ll get the hell out. They usually kill you and take everything you ever earned. One day we’re positive they’ll kill Justin Bieber. And they had said well, okay. We don’t know who that is. And he said, yea well you will one day. He’ll be really famous.

Who is he? They asked.

He’s Andrew, he said.

And one of the guys out there said, and it was someone clearly just on the driveway. A large white Texas man, you know Andrew, you so mean. That was you. Your Johnny D. And we don’t want you to come back. 

And my Dad said, Your just a guy in the gang. Your one of the evil people, already. You don’t represent Texas, or at least this side of the Earth. We don’t need you out there. And we have telekinesis, and we’ll zap you if you don’t go away.

All he said in return was that was a bit repitive.

And my Dad said back, that was so we get through your head. And I’m an Asian man. And then he went for it. Because look, I’m guy and a liar. But really that’s my son and you don’t know he’s really evil and we’re both back and time, but let’s say we’re both fans of Andrew’s. And if your just guys outside we’re positively just going to kill you. Because that’s what we did a bit farther back. We just killed all yea. And we’re sorry but we not want you back. This is positively not a job. And if you kill Andrew, there’s no job. Beause he doesn’t have adisability and he does superpowers, and he’s that kid in there, and he’s positively going to be in a basement in West Van for the rest of this life, because you’ll always wonder in there. And that’s where I am right now, because tha’t when I’ll right this down. Because that’s we’ll figure this out. Whether it’s you or me. Because then Andrew’s not going down. Because just so you know I’m not a liar but I have one con. I am Andrew. And I’m the older one. WE’re both here thorugh time So we seriously are friends. And we’ll blow you heads off. So maybe we’re the ones that broke in. But you have to know we’re liars, and Andrew is not here and there is no one to kill. So we’re both telekinesis and that’s why we glow. And so is Andrew. So he’s not here. He’s a decoy. SO this man not has a job. And he’s a loser trying to get disability from Canada and the US because that’s one of Andrew’s schemes over how acting is not paid after you decided he’s not a writer or at least not paid because he writes everything on earth. Or he is now, because I positively have abilities, and he’s me now and this is me in a few years, lets ten, older Andrew is no here now. He’s actually just saying this in my head. It’s impolite to stay I’m Andrew and I’m Asian, and I’m here now. And I’m 13. So I guess just pretend I’m a 91. And look this is my only friend. And he’s me. And that’s why we have telekinesis. So that’s why we here and we’ll. Blow your heads off. Is that clear? Because that’s not my father. And I am adopted. And there is only one son. And there is already a con, that says his name is John Gracey, and that positively was my name is West Van. Already. Because as you said I’m Johnny D, but John Gracey, what the f…

It was John something or other, it’s not important… and he paused for them to respond.

Clearly, the man said.

And he didn’t say much more. So I went on, ta;king in my thirteen selves head, because /I decided to go back to asain to prove I was adopted. And instead of being a small kid, I decided to grow taller than the man who was trying to kidnap me. And I said, and I positively reading this off the page as he;s written. SO imagine that’s a little thoruhg time, because I’ve never thought of this. And you’ll just believe. And I suppose you’re hoidling a recorder now, because I did leave that out that it is not his memory. Please understand that he is very far away now and the won’t care about this stuff. Thoguh sometimes I say I am gay in the future, but it it is positively not true. Because I am positive. I am not negative. You are a Texas person. And your lives are bad. And you suck at life as shit. Is that what you need hear? We did walk in a house. Did you think they just give it to us? That man killed everyone in here. It was on the news. We learned to keep our minds quiet, and just not answer, and slowly control everything that happens in the world, even in the past. So your mad about this. So don’t deny this.’

And the man said, ‘Clearly.’

And I said. ‘And we say.’

And the man said, ‘And don’t dent this.’

‘Exactly,’ I said. ‘So the real gang is here. And we positively had sold this house already. Five days ago. Its 2005. So kill everyone for a rent. Because that’s the scheme. And then sell it yourself. Because you’re the owners. And we are not the news ones. We’re the sons. We’re moving out. We’re not these got populars. You always say that. Because you’re fat, and your easily jealous. So don’t move here, because they makle fun of fat women here. You have to really hot and not fat. And when you get older as a guy here you get fat, but when your younger, you have to positively be a quarter back. Or you don’t get any. And I was asain. And you knew. I can trick you but Vancouver can tell you about me. And they poison the well. So allow me move on. I was not these populars. I was 15. Because I am now. And they say I am the smartest man on earth now. And I haven’t reduced you in the future. Though you know I previously have, because I’m your gods that you always go on about. Your in Texas and you say you have other gods. So I’m an eavesdropper, and I’m the only one. So that’s Justin Bieber.’

‘What’s it called?’


‘What’s the band?’


‘Where you featuring?’

‘No, they were featuring. They were positively no one. That’s how I feel. Because they we’re not nearly as famous as me. So I guess you’ll stand outside the house and argue I try to convince me while I not sleep that this is all real. Also it’s 2004. I knew you not knew that. You decide what’s real, because I’m positively sure I’m awake and this is real. At least I here. Now what year had I said it was.’

‘You said it was 2004,’ the young woman that asked featuring as said.

Then my younger self said, sitting next me, white from 2018. Three years younger than me now. Not Andrew from the time. Who had stopped in, supposedly. ‘Clearly, this is obviously a dream. When you’re out there. Going on crazy. We actually have no friends, so you said it. Let’s kill these other men. Because your like you have no friends. Your these I kill yea’s. I like these kill yea’s. They shoot schools up. We not those. We must have friends because we not want ta shoot schools up or start fights. So I guess you want to start fights because I pushed myself because that’s the one incident in all this life otherwise I never had a fight in all this life. And  was not a weirdo. And I am not a psycho. I was losing hair even this year. Its 2021 and I guess bald because I just lost a hair. If that’s you feel so you know it’s a wig, even though it’s telekinesis. I probably am Leo Dicaprio and this is John. I probably am better but you can make us both slow because we are, compared to how we’ll be in the future. And I guess you interrupted me about how I repeated that and how I don’t listen, to your wife, so I guess you’re the other Jamie, and your positively playing Ethan, hadn’nt hat’s who you get in the future. Either your Grant or your John. So go make that job. If you want ot be a team and make hoceky the way we do the go play hockey, or coach. Because we play what we do. We act and we act hard. And we write so hard. And you can’t get acting is not paid. But amybe coaching is. And it so it. At the youth levels. Though as it get higher I’m not sure. Because you’re not sure. Your not sure if I’ll act. So maybe it had been paid. Because you positively can’t believe James Dean is not real. And you can’t believe I have telekinesis. So maybe that’s the same thing.’

‘It is the same thing,’ my other self said.

‘Yea, they were always the same person.’ ‘Clearly,’ the other man said. ‘And I’ll explain why I said that/ Because I repeat fuck off. And that’s all I was thinking. As I know what you’re going to say now.’ As he started speaking, I said, ‘ And you’re going to start saying the I fireds. Because you are. You’re positively not Andrew Garfield. And I’m positively sure that it’s not you.’

And the cracked.

She said, ‘Okay, stopped with the positives. I get it’s positive your Andrew Garfield. But we want money back. For how we went this whole life.’

And I said probably helping as I wrote this even, ‘If your so rich how do you get this, because you said your near Harry Garfield. Which is the prince. So how about I chopose Harry Styles. MAbye I care nothing about acting. I just care about money. I’m you. And your me. You reversed it around so I could reverse it around to give you magic and also acting ability. Because you say you not want it, but I understand everything in reverse right now, because I’m asian. And now I’m not. I’m white.’

And at this point let him speak. ‘If you’re white, this is a death threat. Because you’re not.’

And she dropped the ball.

‘You’ve made yourself so Asian. And I used to be so honey, but I can’t get back.’

And they all hung their heads. All the women. And the Ethan, thehy bwere boothtalking like Ethan, just turned and looked at her. She screwed up. 

I said, ‘Well I’m positive you can agree now I am Andrew Garfield, and it is just my name now. You get to kill Andrew now.’ And I said in her head from right this second, just as I always had, well you get to kill Andrew now. Because she’s right outside, still, and she remembers the story. And I didn’t even have to try to read her mind. I was just listening as I wrote.

‘Because I knew you steal these little kids.’

And she burst out, ‘exactly.’ They were letting her speak. But now they though she screwed up again. 

And then I said. ‘And you eat them.’

‘Yes,’ she sight with a lot of certainty.

‘Well Andrews not here. And I’m positive I can get you to eat invizi kids. So that’ smy invention. You eat those you get fae. I didn’t pronounce the t.’ I’d read her mind, and she dind’t t’s in her head with the word fat. And that was exactly what she thought.

I didn’t hid it hurt she thought about them making her fat, and without proper grammar. It was slang. 

‘So do that. And we’ll eat here. In a huddle. S if you can find two Andrews that are real and have telekinesis and from the same time periods. That are not these time travels.’ I was just talking in their slang. I guess I was building it. Maybe even Justin Bieber.

‘Then you can eat Andrew.’

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘Ya,’ another larger in width young woman said.

And ‘Okay,’ I went.

And they all stepped forward a bit, relieved, thinking she not screwed up. ‘Oh, she not screwed,’ being as rude as possible, skipping over all the anxiety she created. ‘We are women, we are not mad.’ As as one was shouting, or had just begun shouting. We are mad, I said. ‘You are angry.’

And the same one said, ‘Ya.’ And the one next to her said, ‘Ya,’ also, and more emphatically. 

And they dropped the ball, hard. And the gang’s shoulder and head all slumped again.

I didn’t wait. I said, ‘And you wanted to see some telekinesis now. And see if this works. And my older self not has this now, and if he see’s himself, he is ugly, because only an Asian dude, playing a brown man, so hisself on tv, and you’ll know, and he’ll know, and no one around we’ll ever know. So if you don’t think you’re a gang, then fight me. And we have not nearly had a wager that I have found enticing enough… to trade, for my life, and all this stuff, that is so bad to give off.’ I used improper English on purpose. And I had to put my head in my hands, to deal with having to do with that. ‘Well, obviously, it’s offful to have…’ ‘And all of a sudden, she tired to pass off the comment to someone beside her, like they had telepathy. ‘We have friends. It’s awful to have to lose a whole life. I said it right.’ And they went on and on. Every Texas woman who had trouble with her weight standing around, telling me that was there problem. I spoke in their language, and they opened up. And they on. ‘They want hot bods.’ ‘And everyone has a house to lounge in. And they don’t have to be large.’ And they really thought I’d give everyone of them this. And for what. For my life. And I thought, they positively didn’t know they were criminals. And they would just take it. And I smiled. Because I dind’t what to say, I ahdn’t even though of it, I just knew where to go, like Stahr, looking at a mountain, and seeing where the tunnels was. Which is exactly what I thought about it, in that mind, that is so fast, it hardly has words. And I stood, and turned towards the windows, thinking like always, and I imagine, I still have it, even in Texas. Having a son makes me so hot. And they love it. Andrew get a dog. And don’t let anyone eat it. That’s what they want. Is a father. Patricia was wrong. A father and to be a daughter. And to not ever have a child. And to live alone. At the same time. They wanted to be adopted. So they ruined my life. They tried to adopt and unadopt me, to adopt themselves, to me, and then kill me, in a parallel universes. Because they were all crazy. They all had the same disease. Schizophrenia. And I knew right then I could be a psychiatrist. And I would be good. Whatever happened. Because these persons were cons, and they’d be around still. For a few years, after I was psychiatrist. And they give off, becaue they fart. And they’re bald. Even the woman. And I knew they had wigs. And they’d rather kill you, then have everyone on earth know that your bald, if you’re their son. So this is part were in the future I trail off, and I have a secret, beyond what I wrote. Because then I said I killed half the gang. And by that, I mean, everyone in the gang, except for three people, and one other. And actually, I teleportedd them to San Paulo, Brazil. SO I have to clear my name now. I had not killed anyone. The same way, on th one day, when Jamie’s gang was standing me down, I had teleported to warsaw, Poland. And lied I killed them so here was karam. O got rid of them. And they said they were so angry, the gang had rerisen. They lied other people agreed with them. They said the were new kkk. And with their masks, they were the Nazi’s. Sure. They are no chances in life. And out of all the things that sounded like a trick, that was the trick. I will not gamble. And I hadn’t said I would. Though right now they are angry at me. Saying I said I would. But I won’t. Even now. I acted. I’m positive that’s where the money came from. 

And I said, ‘Now, do you ant to see a miracle, or whatever, it is.’

And defeated, the old Ethan man said, ‘yes.’

‘And then I made the two remaining larger in width young woman. Girls. Sixteen, seventeen. One of each, actually. Skinny.  I made them skinny. And I gave them a boob job. And I made their hair. I hadn’t said they were wigs. So that was my other trick. Gold. A little more gold. Well it was postively gold. From brown. So they hugged. And said thank you. And, ‘Were your friends, now. And you’re fired, as Andrew Garfield, unless you tell us how you killed them now. Was it with telekinesis?’ I guess it was a question because there was no inflection.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘No, I killed with telepathy and telekinesis. Now get that through your head. I’m the school shooter now. And you’re Andrew Garfield. The guy with no pay. The good guy. Who not kills anyone. And walks away. From anyone that means to do harm to kids.’ And I bluffed. That hard. 

And really, I used a code word. Because they hardly talk. And words had special meanings because they had schizophrenia. 

And they walked away, and as they turned around, they said, ‘No thank you. And we’re Bailey now. You’ll hear about this in the future. We rape kids now. And we’ll rape all yea’s. For how you now brown. And we’ll reach out in the future. For how you’ll never defeat us. And how you only teleported those people around. All over the…’ And she paused. Over what? ‘The diaspora,’ I said. 

‘Exactly,’ the one talking said. And the other said, ‘That’s positively Paul Kariya. Yea, everyone know you are an Asian man now, and the one on the right didn’t say anything. So we know Andrew can’t talk. And he’s not in a wig. And we’ll like him and sleep with him and yell at you. Because your Asian. And your bald. You said.’ ‘You not admitted.’ This was to people at this point. And I said, ‘He is in a wig. And that’s not how he’ll look. All his life. So know you’ll have no friend. Because that’s positively the guy you talked all day. Though sometimes I chip in, in his head.’ And I positively got myself so layed. Because I so lied. I would look like that while in disguise all these years. I wouldn’t be Andrew Garfield, or whatever it was. I wouldn’t let them see how skinny and not Texas I was. How not conservative in values. And she would rape me, and she’d like it. And she’d just have sex. Because they thought love was real. And things. And I had not. Though I was nice. And I was Asian. And I was white.

‘Then we’ll have sex with you,’ they said. And, ‘you’re gonna get kidnapped. You’re gonna get like raped. You’re hot. This hairs not real. And everyone know now. You told em. But not no one know that actors his not that real.’ She couldn’t say wuite that it was not real at all. And right then, I wiped everyone on earth’s mind of the fact that actor’s hair was not real. And. I knew it worked. She forgot what she was saying. So I suppose we don’t leave things to chance. And. I play inside the rules. But the only rules are what is legal, and what is proveable, in court, really. Because as I told them, I was a lawyer, and I had been for a while. And people wonder why I am a partner at the best firm in Canada. Or why I was. Because I had worked there since 1998. 

And she looked dazed. And they just wandered off. And as they were walking away, they hadn’t said much. But the Jamie said. Yea we really deny. That is not what happened. And I lied, Yea, clearly. That stupid Vancouver speak, that got them so found out. So there. Bailey was not a kid. And she wouldn’t meet for another year. But she positively raped a new born year after year until last year. And she was from Vancovuer and Texas. Jsutl ike me. SO she thought. And I never while she liked me. Except I did not that. When I  hadn’t not wiped me, hint, hint. To spy on these people. And bring them the fuck down. To save my own life. And I’m only sorry to myself if I took my time, and if they took away opportunity fter oppurtinity to make life seem like a gam, and e make their wager, there one wager, politics, seem meaningful. So people in Vancouver fight over the politic of the world, clearly, oh and they agree. And I control everything. Not because I’m crazy. But because they can’t speak. And they can’t read and write. And they believe all these lies, not about politics, but bout life. They send kids thorugh a grinder down the street, and I see them as I walk by. They usually shoot them first. And they the whole gang has a little of them. 30, 40, kids a week. That they stole. And that’s why I did that. So sometimes I forgot I’m Justin Bieber. And sometimes I forgot all the simple shit about music that make it possible to make it all myself. SO there might be someone out there playing me, giving me a life, because I positively am the most famous man in the world. And it’s exhausting. Though I hardly sleep. As you may know.

So we won the election. As I said. And I’m still alive. And maybe I have my careers back. Almost. But I don’t have my money back. And all my friends are dead. And Bailey doesn’t know. She dies. They just recorded this. It was just Asian woman. In body suits. Because remember, they were still Texas people. And they struggled with their weights, all their lives. These Bailey’s.

And I understand now. They reached me for miracles. TO be skineir, to have bigger boobs, a perfect face, perfect teeth, perfect hair. Though it was noly a week. Sometimes it isn’t impossible to rgrow hair. But that much, is not possible. It was literally a crown of blonde hair, on a woman tha as not quite thin. Not quite. And these Asian woman are. So if it feels like they made Andrew Garfield, or Justin Bieber, Nick Hoult fat. Or if it feel like they tried. Or if maybe that was the case, and I wiped your minds. And now I’ve changed it back. Then maybe the case.

So I never was in Texas. I was a lawyer in Vancouver. And that’s the life I choose. I was Andrew Mcaig. And there were never two Andrews ever. Though Andrew Mccarthy was a boy born in 1991 who died in 2008. I hardly knew in. But he wandered my house with his da, Jamie. Jamie McCarthy now. Not the same guy I know now. And his Dad killed him. Because he could not speak, and he could not read, and he could not write. And he did not graduate from high school.

So it was really 2009. It’s only been eleven years anyone thought I was a man named Andrew McCarthy on whom a miracle was performed, and could suddenly speak.

I’m the same Asian turend white. And they said Justin Bieber died before his career started. But the kid only died and I’m tired of playing for a gang that only meant to say Justin died to get his money in the future. Because they had thought that through first off. And they didn’t know there was only one Andrew. And that’s part where they weren’t at all ethical. Because they had ripped one off. I suffered through this, and I knew the whole time. So if they want 285 million from me, or from another man, who happens to be Justin Bieber now. Then that’s fraud. Because we’re not their sons. I am not. And they look like Jeremy Bieber. And they were wigs. And they always looked that way. And they follow em through all these nice houses and my spell keeps them next door. So I always buy the houses next door. And I never pay. So they rent from me. And I can’t evict them. And right now they’re in my childhood home. No big. And they haven’t been adopted by m family. Who were Asian. And they all get a taste. Though now the woman are Asian. And they kill them within a few days. Because it’s so easy to do. And I haven’t told anyone, or at least not enough people until now. They aren’t Andrew. And they’ll only kill you. It’s your last meal. Because I hadn’t mean to trick to Texas. But in the end exactly one hundred of them died by execution in Texas. And maybe I made that up though I was not anyone that reported though sometimes I am a news reporter for fun. And no one seems to remember. And I was positively published in the New yorker, writing about this, ten years ago. Though I hadn’t wrote it the time. Sorry, I was only a child. I was 5 8. And I’m 6’3 now. And I’m pretty sure that’s mostly not telekinesis. So I guess time is the only proof for these people with schizophrenia. I always knew who I was. I always knew they did. And it is the thing I suffer with in silence. Their sins. Not mine. And I wash my hands of them everyday. And they don’t wash their hands because they don’t believe in germs. And they were never from Vancouver. And maybe not even from Texas. And every day they come back. At least until I can do something about it. That lasts.


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