Short Story Selections

By Asa Montreaux  In the year 2007, I had an experience that I am still trying to get a handle of. While I came to terms with it emotionally a long while ago, the ramifications in the world around, and in the world beyond the local, are something I am still trying to completely correct.  It seems there is corruption in the world, and I accept that now. I was aware of it in 2007, but I am cognizant of it now in 2021 as something that exists on its own. There is corruption in the world, that is a fact. And I have found it to be a fact that there is a lot of corruption in the world. What that meant to me is I was being defrauded, and my life was being endangered. I suppose I would say my rights were not being respected, as well. Though my life being endangered was certainly the most serious, and also the most immediate thing on my mind. So today I would argue strongly that there are con artists out there always, who are ready to make money or intellectual property or whatever els...

By Asa Montreaux  Oh honey Just let me be there for you just let me adore you It’s the only thing I’ll ever do Walk in your rainbow paradise Hallucinations mad will wrap you back into  This life with us. Wake up to enjoy Everyday’s quiet need. I get so lost inside your eyes. Refeeling getting lost with me is all anyone ever wanted Trust me Would you believe it? You don’t have to say you love me. I just need to tell you something. Lately you’ve been on my mind. Oh honey.  Let the past stay with you. Hang on and watch it with the future Watch the present while you live it Watching is fun Just let me adore you. It’s the only thing I’ll ever do.

By Asa Montreaux  Intentions Picture perfect you don’t need no filter. May you always be strong and faithful Shower you with all my intentions My only intention Is to change people’s live in a small way So lasting, they will truly be a different Person afterwards. Heart full of equity you’re an asset. We want you. We want you on our team. To save the world.  It’s not corny. Because I’m deathly serious. And by the time I say it. It is not corny Anymore.

By Asa Montreaux  I can save the world. I can save the world. Doubt that the son doth move. Don’t doubt that I can make a difference. And in an instant. Doubt that the stars are fire. A star can be someone doing something intelligent And oddly affecting.  Doubt that truth be a liar. There is no way I can explain to you the enormity of my Influence and the feeling of strength I have and the power I have When I dig deep But never doubt that I love. With deep compassion as the center of my actions I intend to save the world. From everything.

By Asa Montreaux  ‘And really Holden, do you have a problem with the way everyone else behaves?’ ‘The way everyone else behaves, you mean like you feel everyone has one way of behaving?’ ‘Well of course. Everyone except for the mentally ill. Like you, Holden. And criminals. There is a proper way to behave and everyone follows the rules.’ ‘Well I get like decorum.’ ‘No, Holden. A way to act all of the time. Your personality is, I must say, not right.’ ‘What do you mean? Everyone’s allowed to have their own personality?’ ‘What made you think that Holden? Everyone must have a personality that is agreeable to everyone else. There is the one ideal personality.’ ‘I think I might have the wrong office.’ ‘Don’t go anywhere Holden.’ ‘Okay. So there are right behaviors in every situation?’ ‘Of course. There are. It’s while you are here that you have to learn them.’ ‘But how?’ ‘Well,’ he took off his glasses, like he was a very sensitive and quietly intelligent man. ‘I suggest you watch the s...

By Asa Montreaux  So it went on like that throughout the year. Leading up to the tournament, he tried to kill every night he was around. And to be bluntly honest, sometimes someone stepped in and shot him, dead. Someone from around, and maybe not. It was never me and I never asked, but it was whoever. Most of the time he wasn’t around in the day, and the whole day. But as I mentioned, he would hang out all night with a gun. And so maybe. I was in trouble with a gang, and obviously there was just a gang after me. I was not in trouble at all. It had to do with the fame I had, and the money I had. I was in Vancouver a lot that semester, though I was back and forth from here in LA. After the end of the school year, as this was the spring semester, I chose to not do that anymore. It seemed there were reasons to be here at the time though. I was playing junior a though I won’t say were, and I actually missed quite a few games. I had other responsibilities. I wasn’t playing any junior b, ...

By Asa Montreaux  Later that afternoon, there wasn’t very much to do, I sat around watching movies with the other people in this place with me. I’m a lot critical though I’m not going to get into with you because I told you alot already about the movies I like, if you remember the last time I was writing you. They were movies from years ago. Like five years ago, even ten years ago. I guess they weren’t really very interesting to watch, I really just decided in the end to go read some. I was quite reading Look Homeward, Angel, and quite getting into it. Though I wondered from page to page what this was for or what that was for. I think if I was going to write a book, I make it really short, and like poetic. Make every word count. It didn’t really seem to matter to add a bunch of other words. People would appreciate that. It would take less time to read. I guess maybe it wouldn’t necessarily be harder. The better a book the more I’d appreciate it. It’s hard to tell how the whole soci...

By Asa Montreaux  ‘Holden, it’s you and stories all the time. You have to come back to being in touch with reality. You don’t need this fiction. You need basic facts. You need reality.’ ‘Yea, and you already mentioned that. Reality. But look, doc, what’s the importance of reality without stories. I think if you just think of the past, present, and future, and don’t make sense of them, then you have nothing that makes sense. Stories combine them for you. Then you can see how things happened. That’s what I do with my writing. Then I can see how things happened, and make sense of things. What event caused the next event. It gives me clarity. ‘Holden, the clarity comes from the basic facts of the situation. As I said, you needed reality. If you have the facts, you can understand the situation. Holden, schizoids lack proper understanding of what they perceive. They often understand things differently than how they actually are. You need to stay with it. Use reason and information, to gu...

By Asa Montreaux  ‘I could put my mark on the world. An indelible mark.’ He flipped the pancake onto my plate. He slid very close to me to do it. After he placed a hand on my shoulder and patted it a little. Then he looked me in the eyes softly, thinking deep things about me for a moment. Then he shuffled off, and sat down at the breakfast table. ‘Come on, Aidan,’ he said. And I went and sat with him and ate the pancakes. They were delicious. 10 After that it was time to go back to New York. I arranged for a healthcare worker to come and visit my mom, and care for her in my absence. We had made strides, but her first new words were a ways off, and I would probably be back for them. In the meantime, I had to get back to my life, my purpose, and I guess, my job. If I didn’t secure I got paid, then who would. No one. Calum drive to the airport. I let him drive our car, and then he pulled into YVR long term parking, and we took a ticket to leave the car parked there for the entirety of...

By Asa Montreaux  You wouldn’t have known how long it was there. It was longer than I would have liked. There was a million places I would have rather been. But I was stuck there, over and over I waited through the days. It seemed like, to me, they wanted me to be there because I was crazy, but it seemed I was going crazy from being there.  The doctors would continue to talk with me. But nothing they were saying seemed to be quite true. Like really, true. They were all damned bores, to tell you the truth. They would often tell me they don’t know what’s wrong with me. And then they would squint their eyes at me, and place there hand on their chin, and probably think I was quite a messed up teenager. It was no matter. After a while, I thought I would do anything to get out of there.  I was scared sometimes, to tell you the truth. Like maybe they’d think I was crazy forever. I had a lot of time to sit around, and lay around, and think. I could think of a million ways to get ...

By Asa Montreaux  There was never anything more Misunderstood, more painful than people know Than an anxiety disorder. It’s something you can suffer in silence The other silent disease. Sometimes it makes depression so much worse. Anxiety can make you feel so tired And like I said  It can be so painful You feel a lot more depressed After an anxiety attack After weeks of anxiety The pain of your heart beating rapid Of not being able to breathe Of racing thoughts Draining your energy Making you feel more unsafe Because you’re not even clear enough to make good decisions You can try to solve your anxiety And that’s another way you’re Losing more control of your life Spiraling through ways to save yourself From the spirals And trust me That the spirals are the problem is too wrong Too an oversimplification. Have you ever noticed you can’t not think? Better try to meditate I suppose that’s a solution But we are always thinking And when we are anxious Our mental world is an uncomfor...

By Asa Montreaux  I’m there for you  To the height of the skies where you are To the breadth of the world between us I can be there in a second if we want to be. I don’t love you and I do. I’m not an abusive lover and I am abused. And maybe not by you but the pressure. It mounts. Its above and it weighs down On all of us. Sometimes the spotlight Made you freeze so much there really was expectations You’d almost not thought of them you were so frozen In the moment Is the only way to deal With it all.

By Asa Montreaux  I guess you can be depressed for a long time  It’s like something nagging behind you until it finally Comes into your consciousness and it take it over  And when it fades away I’ve yet to see a day when the  Cognizance of it, that sadness that hangs over you, I still  Wait for that to leave me. Because the experience changed me forever. I’ve never had a person that hasn’t been depressed before understand me Not since I’d been depressed the first time. If there was no phrase for my loneliness it was the loneliness of depression. Because I can’t connect with anyone now unless they’ve been depressed. Otherwise They totally do not get it. And maybe, even now, as depression has lessened it’s grip,  I still am jaded. Jaded from it, still a little melancholy In temperament maybe I will be forever And in that way all my friends have been depressed.