Short Story Selections

By Asa Montreaux  You wouldn’t have known how long it was there. It was longer than I would have liked. There was a million places I would have rather been. But I was stuck there, over and over I waited through the days. It seemed like, to me, they wanted me to be there because I was crazy, but it seemed I was going crazy from being there.  The doctors would continue to talk with me. But nothing they were saying seemed to be quite true. Like really, true. They were all damned bores, to tell you the truth. They would often tell me they don’t know what’s wrong with me. And then they would squint their eyes at me, and place there hand on their chin, and probably think I was quite a messed up teenager. It was no matter. After a while, I thought I would do anything to get out of there.  I was scared sometimes, to tell you the truth. Like maybe they’d think I was crazy forever. I had a lot of time to sit around, and lay around, and think. I could think of a million ways to get ...

By Asa Montreaux  There was never anything more Misunderstood, more painful than people know Than an anxiety disorder. It’s something you can suffer in silence The other silent disease. Sometimes it makes depression so much worse. Anxiety can make you feel so tired And like I said  It can be so painful You feel a lot more depressed After an anxiety attack After weeks of anxiety The pain of your heart beating rapid Of not being able to breathe Of racing thoughts Draining your energy Making you feel more unsafe Because you’re not even clear enough to make good decisions You can try to solve your anxiety And that’s another way you’re Losing more control of your life Spiraling through ways to save yourself From the spirals And trust me That the spirals are the problem is too wrong Too an oversimplification. Have you ever noticed you can’t not think? Better try to meditate I suppose that’s a solution But we are always thinking And when we are anxious Our mental world is an uncomfor...

By Asa Montreaux  I’m there for you  To the height of the skies where you are To the breadth of the world between us I can be there in a second if we want to be. I don’t love you and I do. I’m not an abusive lover and I am abused. And maybe not by you but the pressure. It mounts. Its above and it weighs down On all of us. Sometimes the spotlight Made you freeze so much there really was expectations You’d almost not thought of them you were so frozen In the moment Is the only way to deal With it all.

By Asa Montreaux  I guess you can be depressed for a long time  It’s like something nagging behind you until it finally Comes into your consciousness and it take it over  And when it fades away I’ve yet to see a day when the  Cognizance of it, that sadness that hangs over you, I still  Wait for that to leave me. Because the experience changed me forever. I’ve never had a person that hasn’t been depressed before understand me Not since I’d been depressed the first time. If there was no phrase for my loneliness it was the loneliness of depression. Because I can’t connect with anyone now unless they’ve been depressed. Otherwise They totally do not get it. And maybe, even now, as depression has lessened it’s grip,  I still am jaded. Jaded from it, still a little melancholy In temperament maybe I will be forever And in that way all my friends have been depressed.